Understanding: Things happen for you and not to you by Vashti Whitfield
As part of our Jurlique Mindfulness Challenge, executive life coach Vashti Whitfield has created an exclusive four-part series of guest blogs for us. In part four, she explores how actively practicing mindfulness can help you deal with whatever life throws at you.
Over the last decade, I dove into – and then out of – the role of ‘wife of a superstar’. I learned very quickly the value of self-worth, which became an absolute necessity as a stay-at-home mum. With too much alone time with two small children in remote countries, I was forced to question and explore the whole concept of life, love and legacy.
I also nursed my husband through a tumultuous 18-month cancer journey from “Yay, you’re going to make it!” to “No, you have three months to live”. I transitioned from being married to my best friend for 13 years into being a widow, the single parent of two gorgeous kids, and the sole provider and breadwinner. Oh, and did I mention that I’m also driven by my unwavering commitment to make a difference in people’s lives in any way possible?
So believe me when I tell you that I totally get it. I know what it’s like to wake up in the night wondering how I’m going to manage the multiple balls I’m juggling. I understand the insane commitment it takes to be fully present for the people around me when my mind is racing; worrying about something in the future, or regretting something I could have done differently in the past.
I had to explore different ways of looking at life to learn how to approach the scale of the life I was asking for – and cope with the mind-bending scenarios life decided to throw back at me. Because regardless of whether life is easy or difficult, it’s how you choose to interpret it that will either make you or break you.
Creating the life you want
While no two brains are alike, we’re all hardwired to think our way forward, towards what we most desire. This is the part of our brain that, when it’s clear in its intention, is motivated and capable of making almost anything happen.
But we are also hardwired – rather cleverly and somewhat annoyingly at times – to detect and protect ourselves against anything that might cause us pain, humiliation or rejection.
In order for you to really dive into the potential of a situation and make things happen in your life, it is absolutely critical that you own, choose and understand what you want. This will immediately support you to clarify your level of commitment to your goal, and help expose any underlying fears that might have held you back up to this point.
Actively practicing mindfulness is a powerful tool for reconnecting with your most intuitive and capable self (and it’s far more cost-effective than going on holiday). It’s also what the modern-day mind needs to tap into our innate wisdom, and our ability to create, adapt and grow from anything that life throws at us.
Through this ongoing curious and non-judgemental enquiry of learning more about ourselves, we are able to live, love, and lead often remarkably inspiring lives.
* With thanks to Byron Katie for the quote.
Explore the Jurlique Mindfulness Challenge for tips, tools and a step-by-step plan for transitioning from mindful-mess to mindfulness. Download the Jurlique X Vashti Whitfield Mindfulness Challenge here
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